Man, I am so extremely tired. I have no idea why. I got eleven hours of sleep last night, and I am still a zombie. And no, it's not because I slept for too long, because I already thought of that. This feels different. I get this way sometimes, usually only for a day or so. I feel like my head is filled with cotton, and that the connection between my brain and my mouth is extremely weak. It's pretty funny to watch me run around like this...I feel and look extremely drunk. It's really aggravating.
I just went to Walgreens (stop telling me that it isn't a word, blogspot!!! Walgreens is a pivotal part of our society...it deserves to be recognized as a word) to pick up some crayons, colored pencils, a sketch pad and some markers. I wanted to tell the lady checking me out that I was buying them for my niece or something, because all of the things I bought said "beginners" on them, and came with new "easy grips for young, unsteady hands" etc...No, I don't have Parkinson's, I just know that I would like to draw with bigger crayons. A'IGHT??
ANYWAY, I'm trying my best to sketch out a few scenes from my book, so that as I'm writing about them, I can see the details of the room, the angles of the entrances and exits, etc...and I am really, really, REALLY disappointed to note that my drawing skills have not improved since the last time I drew something, around fourth grade. I seriously thought that I was a decent artist, considering the last time I drew something, it was good for a fourth grader. Now, my drawing abilities have not changed, and I am somewhere close to exceptionally bad as a twenty year old. You would honestly think that I took a hammer blow to the occipital lobe the way I put things down on paper. I can't explain it, and if I was any less embarrassed I would scan my drawings onto this blog to show you how confused of an artist I am, but I am not any less embarrassed, so just use your imagination.
I really have absolutely nothing to give you as far as life lessons go. I have a huge headache, my brain stem is stuffed with cotton, and the boys in this room are playing Modern Warfare 2 so loudly that...well, they are just loud. I don't want to complete that thought.
Okay, maybe I do have something to offer. A few days ago I posted a facebook status about how little girls are jonesing after the Jonas Brothers before they can even wear bras, etc.. etc...Well, I am still amazed by this. I realized as I was walking somewhere in the quad that I would give anything, ANYTHING to play with sticks all day, or to be swooped up by Peter Pan and flown off to Neverland for some adventure. It's so strange. We have things so mixed up. When I was 12, I was so worried about boys and straightening my hair and buying thongs. Now that I'm in college, all I can think about is how desperately I want adventure. Any adventure. I feel like someone plucked me out of someone else's imagination and flicked me into this boring ass planet, where men and women wake up every morning, drink coffee, go to work. Every day. And the days that they don't have to work, they are pre-occupied with thoughts about how glad they are that they are not at work, or about how upset they are that they have to work the next day. The brainwashed half of me (har har, they only got half of me!) really is just fine with this idea. I am quite content sipping coffee every morning, browsing the web, going to school, browsing the web some more, and going to sleep every night. But the part of me that I honestly recognize as my own spirit, the one that doesn't have anything to do with my surroundings, is terrified of this idea. It screams at me that it's not right. Sometimes it even feels like I wasn't meant to be in this century. Maybe even on this planet. Maybe it's my incredibly evolved consciousness, feeling the rift between it and my physical body and needs. Most of life on this planet revolves around trying to survive. Eating, sleeping, making money so that all of these things are possible. But my consciousness is not satisfied with being housed in such a rudimentary body.
I am going to make myself crazy. I just want to live in a cartoon like Treasure Island (the newest one, by Pixar or one of the other companies that are indistinguishable from Pixar). He wind surfs. Except he doesn't do it on water. He literally surfs the currents in the wind. And he finds good friends, that all love him and go on the adventure with him. He discovers a lost planet. He goes into space.
I am seriously so jealous I might cry.
Back to web surfing.
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